Anonymous asked: are you going to the beatles: the lost concert" movie when it comes out next month?

That’s actually this month! :3 I definitely plan to, but I don’t know if I’ll get to, unfortunately. Why the ask?

YES, I am upset. I am allowed to be upset. Stop treating it like it is some horrible weakness to have emotions because you hurt my feelings. I will be fine but I am still upset with you two and I am not going to roll over and say ‘that’s fine’ like I normally do, especially not with you acting like my feelings are not at all relevant to the matter.

I’m so goddamn scared of what my life is going to be after I graduate. I’m finally on the right path, my grades are up, but I’m still scared out of my wits.

I still can’t fucking drive. I still don’t know what the hell I’m doing. Even my plan is a loose one.

And then there’s my girlfriend who is gorgeous and brilliant and amazing and fantastic and sweet all rolled up into one and it kind of kills me a little that she has so much ahead of her. I feel like I’m not good enough and it hurts. She could go to any college she wants and do anything she felt like doing and when her parents ask what my plans are, I don’t know what to say. “I’m doing two years and then I’m getting out.” and what sort of plan is that compared to hers?

I mean, jesus, I don’t even know if I /can/ do that. I don’t know if I can do anything. What if I end up living with my dad in his trailer and always play the technician’s assistant? I don’t need a career to feel valid but I want to be more than the second fiddle to my father. I don’t want to be my father. I don’t.

I just want to do something right for once and I don’t know how. I’m trying. I’m getting there.

I wish the progress was going a little faster, though.

You know I’m not moving out of the country for like, another three years or so, and my friends probably don’t believe I’ll do it. But then, my friends don’t believe I can do most things. Every time I express interest in something, I usually get ‘but you’re so’ and no words of encouragement. It’s pretty disheartening.

Likewise, if I say ‘after next year I think I’ll’, I usually get ‘haha, if you graduate on time’. What? Does everyone think I’m a failure? I just want to do something right.

And I wish somebody cared enough to convince me to stay. As it is, I’m getting out and not looking back.

So I guess I’m posting again. I don’t know. I have no idea if I’ll keep posting or not.

I’ve just had a lot of shit happening and I feel like having a place to get it all out. So… it probably won’t be funny and will probably just be a big spilling out of ~feelings~ and things so I apologize to anyone that (for whatever reason) still follows me.

Kat out!

About Me
Hello! I'm Kat :3

Things to Know: I am a 17yr old lesbian nerd living in Iowa with a thing for art and writing... not that I write very well.

I roleplay, however, and my characters are numerous.

I'm a lot of fun and I hope you'll talk to me!

~more about me~
~Ask me anything!~